


Are We Now or Have We Ever Been

by lc2l



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-02
Updated: 2010-08-02
Packaged: 2017-10-17 06:39:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lc2l/pseuds/lc2l
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'You know that scene in the Blind Baker, the one where Sherlock asks John out on a date? Well, between that and Sherlock introducing John as his "friend" I'm convinced Sherlock is aware of his feelings for John and actually was asking him out on a date. So I'd love some oblivious John and frustrated Sherlock.<br/>prompt by anonymous here: http://sherlockbbc-fic.livejournal.com/575.html?thread=335167#t335167</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are We Now or Have We Ever Been

Books. Sherlock isn't sure how many books there are in the world – he had a vague idea once upon a time but those blasted people keep writing more – but he is sure the number in his flat is somewhere in the region of 'far too many to be going on with.'

Our flat, he corrects himself.

A book everyone owns (only not everyone, obviously. John doesn't seem to have a book to his name). A book that should now be in this building three times, in Van Coon's boxes and Galbraith's boxes and somewhere on his copious shelves.

He's not getting anywhere. He needs new threads, more parts of the pattern. There is a dog barking somewhere, Mrs Hudson is thinking downstairs and there are too many books.

It isn't the bible, unless 'I' is some kind of hidden message that only the two men knew (which is highly improbable but not impossible so just like every other word he's memorized he can't eliminate it just yet.)

"I need to get some air, we're going out tonight." The first part is just a formality because John seems to think explanations are in order and Sherlock has to do what John wants him to do. That's how these things work, as far as he can tell.

"Actually, I've –uh – got a date."

Sherlock would like it if John stopped inserting meaningless sounds into his dialogue. It is a ridiculous habit that prolongs the delivery of important information and always distracts Sherlock from the task in hand. John has either not picked up on Sherlock's distaste or hasn’t fully researched the rules of relationships as Sherlock has.

Then he realises John said he had a date and wonders when he got around to asking and why he can't remember. "What?"

John is looking confused (and if Sherlock has forgotten about this date of theirs that is probably why). "You know, when two people who like each other go out and have fun."

Perhaps this is John asking him on the date. Improbable but not impossible, Sherlock already knows that John has strange habits. "That's what I was suggesting," he agrees.

"No it wasn't."

This conversation is going in circles. Sherlock suggested a date, John said he was on a date that evening. Sherlock probes the conversation, trying to work out how exactly they're not in total agreement about this.

"At least I hope not," John adds, with a smile that Sherlock cannot quite place until he looked up and focuses on his face more clearly.

There is a very faint smudge of lipstick on John's left cheek. For the first time he can remember, Sherlock hopes his deduction is wrong. "Where are you taking her?"

It is very difficult to remain calm when John says "Cinema," without a care in the world. As though cheating on a committed relationship is such a normal, every day affair that it doesn't even matter that Sherlock knows.

Sherlock knows a lot of cheating happens in committed relationships, but he had thought John wasn't that kind of man.

"Dull," he says. "Boring. Predictable." Who would take going to the cinema with a girl over the chance to solve crimes at a Chinese circus with Sherlock Holmes?

He pulls the flyer from his pocket. "Why don't you try this?" he offers casually, because if he goes too then it's not really cheating, right? He knows the laws of relationships say he has to dump John for cheating and he really doesn't want to (even though there's a funny little pain in his chest and he's not entirely sure of the scientific cause) so he has to find a way around it. Laws are made to be circumvented, after all. "In London for one night only."

John looks down at the flyer as though he hasn't seen it before, which means he probably hasn't and Sherlock should learn to ask his dates out earlier in future. "Thanks, but I don't come to you for dating advice."

No, Sherlock thinks. You come to me for dates. Even though they haven't had many so far, but the ones they have had John seems to have enjoyed. He got rid of the blasted cane for good after the last one.

He books two tickets in his own name and then when John has gone rings back to book a third. It will be like a threesome, he supposes. There's no cheating involved in a threesome and he's always been curious about how such situations are arranged.

*

It doesn't really hit him until he's standing in the shadows of the theatre watching John and his doctor that John asked a girl out. Even though he was dating Sherlock already. Even though Sherlock had shown no prior interest in a threesome.

"I don't think so," John says. "We only booked two."

"And then I called back and got one for myself as well," Sherlock explains, stepping out of the shadows to look at John's doctor. He holds out a hand to her and reflects that she's a little plain but John hasn't mentioned sex to him yet and if this speeds things up, he can go along with it. "I'm Sherlock."

She seems surprised to see him, but then John is being terrible at explaining himself today, giving off mixed signals and generally being as frustrating as he can be. "Hi," she says.

"Hello," he replies, because it is the accepted response and he is being polite for John's benefit even though the other man is doing nothing for him.

Then he walks away because John will follow (he always does) and he needs the privacy.

"You couldn't let me have just one night off?" John demands.

Sherlock is certain this is not how a relationship works. You don't get to take one night off just because some pretty doctor girl caught your eye.

He explains his theory about the circus instead, in the hope that John will tell him he's fantastic again.

John says nothing of the sort. "Come on Sherlock, behave," he snaps in the same tones everyone usually uses to tell him to piss off.

Sherlock bites back on his anger and finishes explaining in clipped sentences. It's not supposed to be like this with John, it's not supposed to be difficult and awkward and John is the one person who isn't supposed to look at him like he's an insufferable know it all.

"All I need to do is have a quick look round the place," he says waiting for John to volunteer to come with him so they can find a small dark corner somewhere and the doctor can just get tired of waiting and leave without them (fuck the case, John is presenting a far more frustrating puzzle with a far better prize).

"You do that," John says. "I'll go take Sarah for a pint."

No. No, that is not how this goes. He sends a text saying 'Come here' and John comes. That's how it works, that's their thing. "I need your help," he grinds out, wondering if John would get the bloody hint if Sherlock just kissed him right there and then.

"I do have a couple of other things on my mind this evening."

"Like what?" Sherlock demands.

"You are kidding," says John, as though Sherlock would do anything so... so childish in the middle of a date.

"What's so important?"

"Sherlock, I'm right in the middle of a date," John hisses, as though Sherlock doesn't already know this, but he wishes John would stop being so ambiguous and make up his mind as to whether he was dating Sherlock in the stairwell and leaving the doctor behind or pulling them all into one awkward threesome. "You want me to chase some killer while I'm trying to..."

He trails off, which is frustrating in its own way because Sherlock would love to know exactly what John is trying to achieve. "What?"

"While I'm trying to get off with Sarah," John says very loudly and clearly without mentioning Sherlock or threesomes at all.

So he is being cheated on. John doesn't seem at all ashamed of it, as though it's his right to have one night off from the relationship (when it's really barely begun) and Sherlock has no idea what he's supposed to do now.

He walks away. There is still the case to figure out

He can't dump John. He hasn't had anyone for this long in... well, he can't remember ever having someone for his long. John is his. His friend, his partner.

*

He cannot resist showing off his intellect a little during the show, but John doesn't compliment him again. In fact, every time he speaks John just gives a little sigh as though he had briefly forgotten Sherlock was there.

Sherlock leaves them to it and goes backstage. Fighting a sword wielding Chinese man with a can of spray paint is perfect for his mood.

He gets kicked in the face, then knocked backwards onto the circus stage and suddenly John is there (because John is always there) pushing back his attacker with no thought for his own safety. Sherlock has no breath to cry out, to tell John to get the fuck away because he could get hurt and he isn't allowed to get hurt, getting hurt is Sherlock's job.

Then the doctor – Sarah – is whacking the man with a club and pushing him away from John. Sherlock thinks maybe he could like her after all.

Then she is the one who gets to hold John's hand when they run and he doesn't like her even a little bit. She's just a boyfriend stealer.

But John is alive. The important thing is that John is alive.

*

She follows them around for the rest of the night, gets herself kidnapped and threatened and John has to put himself in danger (again) to save her (because Sherlock was too slow. If only people would refrain from hitting him).

"What did you mean," Sherlock asks, once she has been sent home and they are back in the flat with the hundreds of books that he no longer has to search through. "When you told her the next date wouldn't be like this?"

John moves a pile of books off his seat so he can sit down in it. "Well," he says slowly. "Most dates aren't, really. Generally there's more romance and less mindless violence. Anyway, she says she'll never see me again so-"

Sherlock sits on a pile of books. "All your dates with me have been like this," he points out.

John looks up at him. "Sherlock... I haven't been on any dates with you."

"Of course you have. There was the thing with the taxi, that time you shot a man to save my life and I got a free blanket. Oh, and the railway at night."

"Um," says John, which is just as irritating as ever because Sherlock has no idea why he looks so confused. "Sherlock, those... they weren't dates. They were cases."

Sherlock is quite possibly the smartest man in London and it is galling that is takes him several moments to realise what is going on here. "Of course they were dates. We like each other, we went out, we had fun."

"We almost got killed! On several occasions!"

Sherlock considers a day when he doesn't almost get killed as a waste of time, but he supposes John might be slightly more inclined to self preservation (which is a good trait in a partner because if John died he suspected the funny ache in his chest would come back). "Yes," he agrees. "But we weren't actually killed and I've just decided you're not allowed to die."

He sputters for a few moments. "Not allowed to die?"

"No," Sherlock agrees, even though he hates repeating himself. "Because I think I would miss you, and that would make it difficult to concentrate and I haven't got this far by being unfocused. No more charging recklessly at sword carrying Chinese men."

Sherlock watches John carefully as he sputters some more and notes the slight blush on his cheeks. "You can't tell me what to do," he says eventually. "I mean, we're not dating. I'd know if we were."

"I don't know," Sherlock offers. "You can be an oblivious idiot sometimes."

"Yes," says John. "I mean no. I'm not an idiot and we're not dating. To date, both people have to know. There's a certain amount of asking involved."

Sherlock frowns a little, thinking through all the evidence he collected. "We show clear symptoms of people who are dating," he points out. "I simply arrived at the logical conclusion."

"We haven't even kissed!"

"Is that essential?" Sherlock asks, and when John nods he crosses the room and leans forwards to kiss John experimentally on the lips. It is... interesting. They are far more chapped than they look from a distance, perhaps Sherlock should buy him some lip salve. "Are we dating now?"

John throws up his hands in despair, but his cheeks are pinker than ever. "Sherlock," he says loudly. "Will you go out with me?"

This seems like a far too simple answer to what has so far appeared to Sherlock as a very complicated puzzle. "I have been."

John gives a long sigh. "No," he says wearily. "No you haven't. We haven't been dating. We can start dating, would you like to date me?"

"Yes?" he offers, wondering if this is a trick question.

"Great." John reaches out to grab him on either side of the head, pulling him forwards into another kiss only this time his lips parted and somehow both their tongues got involved.

Sherlock had always thought this looked unpleasant and certainly unsanitary. He was surprised to find it was actually quite nice.

When John pulls back they are both panting and Sherlock's heart is racing as though he has just pulled off a daring rooftop chase. (He dares to think, very briefly, that maybe this is better.)

"Now we're dating," John says breathlessly and apparently it is that easy.

*

The bed is covered with books, John convinces Sherlock to go for a walk in the park and kisses him against a tree which is awkward and uncomfortable and oh so good don't stop don't stop. He almost forgets to analyse the moment but then he is distracted by a tramp with a newspaper and next minute the answer to the missing diamond is right there in front of him and they have to run across some more rooftops and fight large men with knives and make out in alleyways, stumbling home covered in sweat and other people's blood.

*

Sherlock tells John he's returning the diamond, but since no one knows they have it he stashes it away instead. He's in a relationship now, and all the research he's done so far shows that at some point in a relationship he will require a diamond.

*

They burn the books.


End file.
